"God of War" (A Battle Cry)

[Orijin]

Hello.

*Breathes...*

Cursed since birth, Sparta warned of this animal..
Scared was the oracle, "DEATH" from her mandibles..
It won't be his enemies the only thing he slays..
But whatever and whoever dared to step into his way..
Grew up as a fighter, in his teens he was thirsty..
For the blood of another human being in the worst way..
The King soon stepped in and saw him as a weapon..
Trained a killer to kill and soon put his skill to test in..
A lions den, no question he was more then a man..
As he grabbed the jaws of the beast and ripped it apart wit his hands..
His skin crimson and violet, the blood of the lion dyed it..
Pulled it's toung off his chest, as the crowd goes silent..
"Whats wrong with that boy? His eyes didn't even blink in..
The face of fear with the lion! Thats no boy, it's a demon!"..
At the age of 16 he became a Spartan warrior..
Soon turned the battle field into his own utopia..
Blood shed everywhere and moved so graceful..
His movement was poetry like death became tasteful..

*As time passes...*

A monster outa control never knew the word pain..
Til nightmares began to haunt the solider, day after day..
couldn't take it anymore, as he clinched both his fists..
Walked away from the war, to the edge of a cliff..
Dove off head first.......ready to end what was life..
But the gods made him live his attempted suicide..
He was pissed! naw, furious and then the clouds roared..
As Poseidon arised commanding to kill the god of war..
In return to the man all his nightmares will end..
He accepted the gods mission, and his quest soon began..
Little did he know what he'd have thrown at him..
Sex, death and lost passion - Hydro beast of the sea, yet he still ran at em..
Fear never happened, defeat? wouldn't take it..
If whatevers in his way had bones, then he would break it..
Zombies, slayed it, sirens forced quieter..
Murked a cyclops, like it was a real eye opener..
Made it to the god of war and stair'd him in the face..
Left him underground to waste after stabbing him in his face..
But before the god passed, he said "they won't answer your prayer"..
Fuelin the untamed rage of this cursed god slayer..
"The god of war was never i..." died, no pulse remaned in him..
The real god of war just yanked his weapon out his crainium..


*Flash Backs...*

This was unknown territory, dreams of a warrior..
Mysterious like the hair on Ja Ru tha Damaga..
Bass of the drum, thunder roll'd off his tongue..
As he screeched like a beast, his inner soul soon begun..
Takin form of a titan, takin over what was sonned..
From his words, as the earth rotated round the sun..
His eyes shadowed what was lit, never lookin at his spit..
As the moon soon removed all the light to eclipse..
Never knew what he was missin til he widened up his vision..
He was over supervised until his life became this prison..
He knew he needed wisdom, so the man made it his mission..
To find who's designed, to help him get up out the system..
Had to get it out his system, 'fore they came around and beat em..
Their words of negativity were used to over feed em..
As he grinded his teeth, his hunger steadily increased..
What was empty now has fully fed the belly of a beast..
Time brutalized his body, yet froze in his eyes..
He stops yellin at the heavens, then looks toward the sky..
Wonders off in a daze, and his eye start to cry..
As a smile lifts his cheeks with his chin lifted high..
Eye lids foldin down, inhalin so deep..
A warrior hits the ground, never to rest in peace..

*Fades to darkness...*




Links: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ab-390347.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-390710.html

[country]

this is fuckin nasty


way out of ur usual style

[Esc0BosS]

smh... i was plannin on doing this after the third one dropped lol

[Orijin]

lol...i just sent you a pm...lol....and yea, i know....just thought i'd join the topical fad for a second, sorry if i took the idea boss...lol

thanx

[The Smarter Martyr]

Wooow,writting pretty different here,i like it...descriptive,flow was on...

you never disappoint,even out of your usual style.

[Orijin]

*looks around*

up.

[Johnny 6-feet]

I dug the topic, you're a big god of war fan then? You illustrited the story well, i enjoyed the first verse in particular because you filled in blanks which weren't shown in the game. The 'eye-opener/cyclops' line a brilliant one-liner. Mayeb the focus of the piece wavered at times but considering the length that wasn't really an issue. The rhyme scheme could've been stronger, but you had all the ingredients for a dope topical piece here. Good work.

Keep posting, cheers for the rep.

[verbalweaponz]

your gayness finally uncloseted. congratulations. lol. naw man this is a cool read. if someones never read clip they wouldnt appreciate how different this is. but lmmfao @ the jeru the damaja line...

[Tactixx]

I liked the concept...the greek mythology take on it....creative...The story progressed nicely and the imagery was fairly consistent....couple little twists which made it all the easier to read...The vocab maybe coulda been slighly increased...but if it was sacrificed for imagery...sometimes it happens....good drop though man....peace....

[Governor]

This was not too bad. Seen better, seen worse no doubt.
The opener wasn't too invitin' to delve into ur content & the 2nd bar ended on a shaky flow (it shoulda been step in his way, not step into his way, extra syllable throw's it off). & when the flow seemed to be back on the uprise, it always shuddered in parts bringin' it back down, & for me, I can't enjoy a piece with an inconsisten flow (which is sad, cos aside from the flow, which only need's a few tweaks here there & everywer, i liked this.)

Imagery was on point, some nice seronades of vocab splattered around, not too much, but relevant to the topic at hand(don't want people misunderstandin', although the odd big word here & there can heighten a piece.)

The endin' coulda held a climatic piece of imagery, but it seemed too bland & for my likin'(I like to be able to walk away from a topical with different conclusion's in my head, but maybe that's just me).

But it was nice, it seem's like it's all negative but I just picked up on the bad points that I noticed, I did like this piece, coulda been better, but endurable. Keep writin'.

PS, people sayin' this isn't ur unusual style, I think ur unusual style might be more on par with my preference lol.

Rtf wen you can. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...56#post6877656

[Orijin]

really appreciate all the feed....and thanx construct for pointin out that this is NOT my usual style...lol (damnit you fuckers, i was tryin to make it look like i know what the fuck i'm doin...not wingin it lmao)

illy.

[country]

really appreciate all the feed....and thanx construct for pointin out that this is NOT my usual style...lol (damnit you fuckers, i was tryin to make it look like i know what the fuck i'm doin...not wingin it lmao)

illy.

lmao thats what familys for

[Keeby Swaggz]

this is pretty dope Clip... real vivid and descriptive, good imagery... flow was pretty nice... good shit...

[Orijin]

uppity.

[brokenhalo]

i liked how descriptive it was definitely painted pictures on some of those bars at times i feel the flow lagged a bit but overall it was offical ,props .