Beauty Is A Beast.

[.SuiGeneris.]

As I lay back on the bed sheets,
he has his lips on mine; my heart beats
uncontrollably, the fire beats increasingly .
Jazz tunes we produced on every moan.
My buds can taste his heavy brandi
breath screamed out-cry for a minty.
Hiding the fear he has settled in me
but I have to comply for myself & my family.
He, thrust his penis within my pie crust
I hide the disgust & fake the enjoyable fuck,
lust is so rust I just want to lay & just...
But, I must show energy or my family is dust.
Unholy cremation will take place
fire will Isolate the body, ashes will be in a vase.
There so much at stake, quitting is not a option,
hate doing this, but I’m protecting what I love.

On this beautiful plantation land,
we don’t get lynch nor get the backhand.
No blooded knees or experience ache pain,
we taste freedom cause there’s no chains.
We can take breaks. There’s no punishment,
only have to finish the work at the same token.
Eat decent food off the masta table
with the fire of hope on a candle.
Live under the masta roof with comfy bed sheets
but while everyone is sleep, I creep &
creak the floor to his bedroom door
body sore, but he doesn’t care.
As long my voluptuous tail is in the air
& ready to be filled with semen.
I laugh at the fire that’s burning
in the kitchen table, it means nothing.
Hope? Please, it’s because of me.
As long my flower keeps getting thorned
& my stem filled with nourishment.
Keep my lips sealed and hide my mourn.
My family forever more feel the rose of happiness.

Beautiful comes with a Price.

[.SuiGeneris.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ce-357014.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ll-357027.html

[Boxin Mics]

this was a solid and pretty dope piece.
and the flow was alright.
your usage with vocabulary, too, was good.

--------------------------------------------
I hide the disgust & fake the enjoyable fuck,
lust is so rust I just want to lay & just...
But, I must show energy or my family is dust.
---------------------------------------------
^but this right here was my fav.


so just keep up the good work. and im sure ill be reading
more from you shortly. peace out, and goodnight.

[Richard Parker]

I thought this was a good piece, but it definitely had its flaws. The extended metaphor you were working with about freedom in the second portion of the piece had too much room for interpretation. . in other words, I can take an educated guess about what it means, but there's not enough certainty for anyone to say "it was about THIS". . which there should be. The strong point? Your word choice was just. . interesting. It gave the piece a unique taste.

[Decade]

I have so much to say but im just not sure how to put it into words
this peice must have taken you quite a while its very well written IMO

poetry feel to it only thing i wasn't feelin' was "masta"

Fav Lines

My buds can taste his heavy brandi
breath screamed out-cry for a minty.
Hiding the fear he has settled in me


Live under the masta roof with comfy bed sheets
but while everyone is sleep, I creep &
creak the floor to his bedroom door
body sore, but he doesn’t care.
As long my voluptuous tail is in the air

[.SuiGeneris.]

Thanks for the feed....

[Soule]

I personally didn't like the piece. Your wordplay was just meh, not creative or strong at all. A six year old could most deffinently pop this out if they had a corrupt mind. The flow was skippy, couldn't come off the tongue fresh. Made me stutter in thought. Imagery was weak. Emotion was flawed throughout. Overall, lacked a lot. Keep elevating. Thanks for the feed.

[Shotty Fullclip]

Not a bad piece at all. But I agree with Feeble Minded.
But your vocabulary and usage of words were amazing..
I mean.. Overall its still a dope piece with all do respect.
It was well written. And I enjoyed it all the way through.
And I hope to see more from you, soon..

[Sugar Kane]

I mean it was horrible, but I'm confused I understand the concept but if you're a guy that shit sound too close to gay for my tastes. It was closer to poetry then hip hop so some lines trailed without a rhyme. The multies seemed non-existent but the story line itself was good but vague I would've like to see more disgust and anger the depression.