Realm of the Wicked & Wise

The Crook:

Let's do this, the smooth-est of the slick here to flip the fuckin' script/
These clips ready to be ripped by the trigger finger itchin' to get a lick//
Bystanders gettin' hit, no remorse for those who refuse to see the truth/
Losin' touch with the words of the wise, so the wicked overthrow the booth//
When you give people a chance they take advantage 'n never carry through/
Fuck the "innocent" morals came 'n went now I'm the emergency in the room//
Crazy ain't nothin', sane man committin' homocide with mics, guns 'n knives/
Spittin', shittin' 'n rippin' flesh with the best of maniacs 'n severely depressed//
Get your shit messed, can't impress me with styles that copy that of I-N-S/
Swagger-jackin' only results in webs from necklace strippin' on ya' neck 'n chest//
Vexed about shit not related to my worries, but I remain strained 'n stressed/
Nerves caressed by the hollow-tipped slugs aimed at ya' head, fuck the rest//
Yes, the headshot delivered by the lead-locked heavy hittin' marksman sharp shooter/
Post-apocalyptic, left in the dark yet the smartest 'n wisest of the heart bank looter//


Sentimus:

My son, you need to strive to the keep the peace/
You must fight to escape the wickedness, take a leap//
So your head can be clear to achieve the goal you desire/
Be reasonable, think of how to set the establishment on fire//
But simultaneously keep order, it's very possible just think/
Mental superiority is often the best answer to the weak//
Let the wire choke the victim, learn not to strain yourself/
Even when on a mission always remember to remain yourself//
Remain in the same state of wealth if possible, but sacrifice/
You gotta' work hard now to achieve peace in the afterlife//
Anger leads to self-frustration which spoils the fruit, no longer ripe/
You must be mentally clear to hear the words spoken in the night//
Compromise, but conquer those with corruption in their wicked eyes/
This is a world of softer minds where reason is often tossed aside//
If you lost the prize, the benefits that reign remain un-touched/
At the same time if you actin' pussy you gettin' gun-fucked//
So be strong, but fight only when it's in the name of peace and freedom/
Never burn the ammunition, just keep all the guns for when you need 'em//



Both verse were written by myself pretty much off the top of my head. Just wanted to do a little lyrical experimentation. I tried to vary the styles a bit but make it seem as if it were written by the same person, just different "egos". tell me what you think

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...24&postcount=6
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...09&postcount=9

ups

lol I left rapworlds for this forum... this is just as dead as RW

the shits sik, afterlife, n sacrafice, i used that shit 2, also had the
good guy n bad guy shit, yours wus better for a rittin, keep up the good werk, n chek that song out if u want

Thanks for the feed. I'd check your shit, but you wrote the equivalent of like four pages. Drop a quick freestyle or written but keep it short and sweet. You can always write longer drops another time, start small.

Ups.....

second verse def. the better one... first one is just too much on tha ignorant shit...buh its aiight...
seems like in both u sacraficing the flow just to getya lyrical shit on...and that aint good at all, especially when alotta shit jus comes off forced...

try picking a rhyme scheme next time...

overall still decent, and i do fuck with tha 2nd verse its nice

no hate, buh take it how u want...stay up #1

good looks on the feed.... the two were supposed to be opposites, they represent two different styles (at least that's what I'm aiming at) so if you feel the first style more, you're gonna like the first verse, n vice versa. As far as the flow, it sounded fine to me when I spit it to myself, but I could be wrong, I'll be more careful with that next time. I'll work on my structure a bit more, but remember this was just lyrical experimentation. thanks for the feed, stay up.

i got how the styles oppose...but think tha first was jus abit sloppy, not very well thought out... but word...gimme a min im finna get my lyrical experiment on lol

Fair enough. I'll work on the flow thing.....

chea..........the flow is a little off at some points but the first verse was decent and the second verse was aswell.......................try to use better vocab to spruce it up a little bit....................but overall pretty good.........................

keep at it

Thanks.... like I said the flow sounds fine when I spit it to myself, but I'll be more aware of the fact that not everyone is going to read it to themselves the way I am gonna spit it. good lookin on the feed. stay up

bump