... ::: Dark Worlds ::: ...
Topical Battle verse i just dropped.. figured id throw it up here to see if its a good as i think it is :laugh:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_JEcu5jiYKB...l_by_Pygar.jpg
. . . ::: Dark Worlds ::: . . .
In worlds withered away the stray souls slither through pain
The ground littered with bitter visions fitted to shame
Strain on the faces contain the remains of sorrowed plains
Tomorrows single grain of sand slipping through sinister veins
Mysteries hanged from the arches of tired picture frames
Verses explain the disdain depicted through glass stains
Plain views abuse the eyes they pursue and misused
They sift through and lurk confused words to drift too
Misconstrued truths, the youth left to fend their own being
Where honest men lie, and mothers reason their own meaning
The feigning vultures released to eat among the deceased
We retreat in the arms of thieving beast who feast on beliefs
Crafted of molds batted from grey matter and black plaster
Were savage bastards batter the skies and stars shatter
Hearts gather together to break in better days and weather
Streets paved in love letters composed of bitter slaves and lepers
Together they pray for the shades of grays to fade away
And the haze pacing their faith evades their plagued days
Amazed at the filth placed on wilted pillars of past years
The heavens crashing down around a town of vast tears
The laughter here is stranded in cries of the aftermath. . .
Where every scrap of hope gathered never mattered after that
A child's eye soaked, it closes, a single tear starts dropping
But falls up in a world turned up-side down and forgotten
The rotten stench of harvested crops left on scorched fields
And the flickers of light pelting the nights our moon seals
Reveals a place of grimace malevolent existence
Not the maker who crafted this. . . I'm just here to witness it. . . .
Re: ... ::: Dark Worlds ::: ...
i read this tomorrow... that pic turns me on tho
*licks lips*
Re: ... ::: Dark Worlds ::: ...
this is really good man, well thought out, meticulously calculated writing, no doubt...
if i may offer a suggestion tho!?
maybe dont focus soooo much on your structure 'n multies... it seems like the strict regiment you follow forces the content at times...sometimes it seems like your searching more for the right sounding syllable in the right place, rather than the right words to convey whatever point it is your trying to get across.. ya feel?
nontheless, thats jmo..your a standout writer, no question
Re: ... ::: Dark Worlds ::: ...
I agree with Archer, but I definitely give you props on the word play you used to convey the image.
Re: ... ::: Dark Worlds ::: ...
